• Table of Contents
  • How to Pray for Someone by Swami Veda Bharati
  • ‘Last Words of the Rishi’ by Dirk Gysels
  • Himalayan Neem Nursery by Sunil Trikha
  • Challenges on the Spiritual Path by Pandit Hari Shankar Dabral
  • Highlights from Korea
  • The Himalayan Tradition in Italy by Sabina Cesaroni
  • Surrender to the Wave of Silence by Jim Whiting
  • Lithuania Silence Retreat by Darius Plikynas, PhD
  • Health Camp for Virpur Khurd
  • A Contemplation on the GURU-Gita by Swami Nityamuktananda
  • Life’s Twists and Turns by Marylou P. Nunamaker
  • New Magazine Announcement
  • 2011 Events and Beyond
  • Full Moon Meditation Dates
  • Location of our SRSG ashram
• AHYMSIN Newsletter Archive

Surrender to the Wave of Silence

New Jersey, May 2011

by Jim Whiting

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April 2003

"It is time to become the teaching. It is time to become the teacher," with these words, I went out into the world to begin my journey.

May 2011

It has been seven years; I have become a teacher, exploring the wilderness. Learning and re-learning with my new eyes, wandering with beginners eyes.
My path is the way of all flesh, the experience of duality, the pain of beginnings, the pain of endings. Change is often my unwanted companion.
Subtly, over time, in silence, something began to call.
Almost whisper at first, a vibration in the silence, a rift in the field. Becoming louder as I moved deeper into the wilderness. In time it became a clear message, "find others, seek out, and find the light-bearers of Swami Rama's teaching."

The Search

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There are many of us now. The paths of light are growing, spreading that ancient traveler to all points of the globe. Swami Rama continues to ripple throughout the ocean, throughout the unified field. The internet has been busy documenting his ripple, and connecting us. AHYMSIN, Swami Veda, The Meditation Center, the Rishikesh Ashram.
The ripples of light are connected.

Word comes through the ripple, a silent retreat being held in New Jersey, USA. The teachings of Swami Veda. Surrender to the Wave of Silence, led by Stoma, Dr Stephen Parker.

I had done this before, going into silence benefitted me greatly. This could be what I am looking for, what I am seeking. The retreat is organized by Barbara Aschettino and Janice Englund, fellow seekers on the Himalayan path.

I make my way toward the silence.

The event is hosted at the Stella Maris Retreat Center, a beautiful sea side sanctuary cared for the Sisters of St. Joseph of Peace.

Listen, silence.

Three hours from my hometown, I have time to contemplate the gravity of coming events.  Silence. How far my busy mind seems from those calm waters.

Stoma leads us into the moment, silence begins with the opening ceremony.

It isn't long into the retreat before I am made aware of just how far I must go to become accustomed to not expressing verbally. The schedule consists of hatha in the morning, meditation, meals, and studying at the feet of the teacher.

Stoma is steeped in the knowledge, mythology, the genealogy of our tradition.

I am humbled by this experience.

My beginner’s eyes soak up his teaching.

It is the meals that feel most awkward. It has been a long time since I ate in silence, sharing breaking bread, with only my eyes to communicate.

Stoma explains that silence is a form of fasting.

When we withdraw anything-food, words, thoughts, the senses, we are fasting.

My fasting continues, my silence deepens.

The Initiation

I requested to be initiated. Rather, re-initiated. Part of the calling that led me here was to be initiated back into the tradition. To come home. To ready myself, I read Swami Veda's preparation for going into silence, and the meaning of mantra. Still, I was unprepared for what happened.

The schedule for initiation was set, 7:00 PM, after a full day's activities. The initiates are to wait in meditation to be summoned.

7:00 PM. Six or seven of us sit in silence, waiting to receive the gift of mantra. This is what I have been waiting for.
Any minute, I am going to receive my mantra, my new best friend.

7:30 PM. Any minute now they are going to come and call me in. I am going to have a life changing experience like no other. I am sure that my entire life has been leading up to this moment.
Any minute now.

8:00 PM. My thighs are beginning to ache, but, I'd better stay seated in lotus, everyone else is. Everyone else is still meditating.
It is starting to get dark in here. I hope they hurry up.

8:30 PM. My thighs are beginning to burn. No one has been called yet. The sun has set. It is dark, there are no lights on in here. I'm not breaking meditation, silence, coming out of lotus to find the lights. Where are they? Have they forgotten us?

9:00 PM. I can't believe this! What is happening?
I can't feel my legs anymore!

9:15 PM. That is it. I am so mad! How DARE they leave ME here. When they come for me, forget it! I am so out of here!

9:20 PM. I feel consumed by complete rage.  A fire that consumes all else. What is this anger? I look this demon in the face, it is some ego based karma, deep inside of me. It is a part of me. I then become acquainted with a darkness that lives inside of myself.
A darkness that must be dragged, kicking and screaming into the light.

9:30 PM. I name it, I own it, I surrender it.
I move into a place of stillness, my silence deepens.

9:31 PM. I am called in.

9:40 PM. I am waiting outside a room. When the bell rings, it is my moment. I am called in. I surrender my offering. We meditate together.
I can feel the presence of the other soul in the room.
Time begins to lose meaning. I float deeper into silence.
A voice whispers a mantra into my ear, an electrical current shoots through my spine. The mantra is beautiful. Perfect.

Everything that had gone before, anger, frustration, seems distant. Another lifetime ago, as if it was someone else entirely.
In truth it is.
I brought this samskara into the light, I have looked into its eyes, and I would know its face.

The silence wave deepens...

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During one of the daily lessons Stoma explains — the silent practice can be extended into 10, 30, 90 days, and sometimes even years. At that point, it can become a choice of if you ever want to speak again. It could become your chosen path.

During our daily routine, we walk along the shore. Drawn to the ocean. Watching the tide coming in and going out. The sound is always in the background, we are that close to the sea. As I slip deeper into silence, my breath begins to synchronize with the waves crashing into the shore. Every breath is an ocean, every breath the tide coming in and going out.

The sound of the tide becomes my mantra.
I am connected to the ocean, the ocean is connected to me.
I know, this is where I belong.
The silence calling for me to surrender.
The silence calling me home.

Editor’s note:

Jim Whiting teaches in New York state in the United States.  His website: http://www.jimwhiting.net/home.html