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Inspirations
by Meeta Jagtap
Meeta writes, “I am not a writer, all these inspirations are from our guru and lineage. So when ever beautiful visions, thoughts and imaginations come, I do write.” These writings are dedicated to our Gurudeva.
Inquest!
Every morning I use to light a lamp in front of the God, thinking that I will get more and more,
closing my eyes, I sang the prayers in his glory along with my day to day chores,
every day I use to say him, are you listening to me and there was no reply,
so I intensified my prayers and kept on trying,
Some said, keep the fasts, offer him flowers and read the scriptures, but I could not find the God,
I tried to look for him here, there and everywhere, but still couldn't sit and nod,
I thought to try it one last time and sighed and silently remembered,
I joined my hands with faith, love, devotion and surrendered,
a voice came - why are you so sad, what do you want,
He said I gave you everything, still you always want more to flaunt,
I said I don't want more, I have realised my mistakes, just wanted to make you happy, wanted to serve you and always want to feel you around,
for you I sang prayers, fed food, visited different places, read scriptures, kept fasts and still I felt drowned,
God said your prayers reached me long back, you could not hear me as you were always busy,
you sang prayers; however, you were worried how you sang and never took it easy,
when you fed me you got worried more about the taste and quality of the food,
when you read scriptures you read it so fast and never tried it to conclude,
when you kept fasts you remembered hunger more than me,
when you offered flowers you were worried about the freshness, then how it should be,
you thought I am asleep and lit a lamp for me to awake,
to be with me or to love me don't keep on making such mistakes,
Don't travel here and there; light a lamp in your heart you will find me there and don't be ritualistic,
be silent enough, so that you could feel me in and around,
sing in the glory of those who are nearby you and around,
serve food to at least one, who is really in need,
keep fasts and give up your ego, anger and greed,
implement scriptures in your own life,
light a lamp of love in your heart to dispel that darkness and just be altruistic!
Grip of fear!
Every task which was required to accomplish was on the other side,
the moment I use to think that I am going to achieve, it came again and made me paralyzed,
I asked who are you, why do you always haunt and left me in vain,
It said I am fear and your mind and imagination has given me birth,
I am an insane!
The more I wanted to enjoy life with love, relations, health, name and fame, it came back like a boomerang, hit me back and made me lame,
I ran away and got breathless and looked back, I saw fear chasing and tightening its grip again and again,
I realised the more I ran away from it, more it is going to be with me and made me drained,
I affirmed to get rid of it and collected all my courage and stood with it face to face,
I looked at it and felt it was part of my own mind's creation and which always filled me with rage,
I stood still and saw it was the same who scared me as ghost in the childhood,
one who never allowed me to stand on the stage,
one who always stopped me from expressing,
It always holds my breath back,
caused trembling and suppressed,
The more I decided to release, more it grew larger and came back,
I said time has come again to be courageous and to be on the track,
I gathered all my willpower, strength and faith to deal,
The more I was going deeper into its groove, I was getting ways out to look into it with zeal,
Finally I reached the end of its groove and cut off all its roots, it disappeared like a bubble in the air,
I started living again happily with love, freedom and without any fear!
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