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  • Newsletter Email
  • Lecture #6 by Swami Veda Bharati
  • Guru Purnima 22nd July – Rishikesh
  • Fear by Sopha Tamachotipong
  • "Superconscious Meditation (Audio)"
  • Dear Yoga Mentor, My Question Is…
  • Free Yoga in the Park by Marylou P. Nunamaker
  • The Hazel Diaries by Roxanne Currie
  • Meditation: What, Why and How by Nina Johnson
  • A Practical Meaning of the Tàijítú (Yin-Yang Symbol)
  • Swami Nitya on the USA’s West Coast
  • "We Are Only Visitors"
  • You Needn’t Be Lonely by Swami Veda Bharati
  • 2012 Events and Beyond
  • Full Moon Meditation Dates
  • Location of our SRSG ashram
• AHYMSIN Newsletter Archive

Fear

by Sopha Tamachotipong

On December 16th, 2012, I had received unexpected and shocking news that my close friend suddenly passed away while observing spiritual practice at Sukato Monastery. She was still a strong person although she had suffered from lower back pain for many years. Before she left for the monastery, she had just visited and stayed overnight with me at the Himalayan Yoga Meditation Thailand center. We always had several activities together here: swimming, dinner and exchanging our life experiences.

Normally, I come to the center every Saturday afternoon in order to participate (and sometimes lead) the yoga and meditation session with a small group of friends. Most of the time, I spend Saturday night at the center, so that I can help teach yoga and meditation to people on Sunday morning. For two years, she had spent time with me here whenever she was in Bangkok. We thus became very close friends. In addition, we took an adventurous journey to India together; visiting and paying homage to the Four Holy Sites of Lord Buddha and participating in the Yoga Nidra course taught by Swami Veda Bharati at his ashram, Swami Rama Sadhaka Grama (SRSG), Rishikesh. 

Her sudden departure truly shocked me.   A mixture of different feelings rose in my mind. I felt deep loneliness spending the night alone at the center, without her. But at the same time, I felt “fear” that might come and visit me during the night. This unexplainable fear had overpowered me that I dared not stay alone. Thus, I ran away home once the activities were over on Saturday evening. I was so afraid to face the “fear” in my own mind.

The runaway episodes lasted for three months until March 2013, when I returned to Swami Rama Sadhaka Grama to participate in the Dhamma discourse with Swami Veda Bharati. That was his last discourse before he started his vow of silence for 5-7 years. In addition, I had a chance to do 10 days silence retreat with Swamiji. Lots of his students all over  the  world  had  come  to  the  Ashram  to  do  retreat  with  him;  it  was  really  a  special occasion for the AHYMSIN (Association of  Himalayan Yoga Meditation Societies International) family.

Before Swamiji entered the silence vow, he had distributed responsibilities to his disciples according to their capabilities and expertise and shared with us his wealth of knowledge accumulated through years of practices (He is 80 years old now), which I found extremely useful. How much benefit we could derive (from his teachings) depended upon level of wisdom each of us possessed. With my limited wisdom, what I learned from him was how to handle fear during meditation practice, which was what I really needed. I felt that he specifically gave this teaching to me. He taught us to come face to face with our own fears and to closely examine them so that we truly understand and overcome them.  My heart humbly embraced his teachings, leading to inspiration to handle the fear in my mind. 

After he entered the silence, everybody in the Ashram also started practicing silence, which lasted for about 9-10 days. For me, this was the first experience of an extended period of silence. In silence, I was able to see my body and mind much more clearly. After returning from India, my mind has strengthened a lot. I was also determined to put Swamiji’s teaching into practice, with great confidence and reverence in him. Looking back at my own fear, I felt trite and pathetic of myself for always allowing fear to overcome my mind. I saw how I created sufferings by modifying my own thoughts which developed into fear. I decided that I would no longer be a slave to my own fear, but instead would face it straightforwardly. Do not run away. Finally, I was able to stay at the center all by myself again. One day, I was alone at the center. While I was practicing hatha yoga happily and peacefully, the wind was blowing and brought with it a scent that I remember was the soap my friend always used when she was still alive. I talked to her in my mind “Thank you for visiting me”. I did not feel any fear at all.

I humbly bow my head in gratitude to Swami Veda Bharati, my Master for his compassionate advice to me that enabled me to defeat my fear and free myself from self-created sufferings.  I hope that this article would be useful in some ways to all readers, particularly those who are under the influence of fear.

“If there are any merits from sharing this experience, I would like to devote them all to Himalayan Masters and to my friend, Thanawalai Jaroenjandaeng, in a celestial world.”

Editor’s Note:

Sopha is a member of the AHYMSIN Thailand Sangha.  For more about AHYMSIN Thailand, contact ahymsinthailand@gmail.com  On 7th December 2013, they will be hosting “The Art of Joyful Living” with Dr. Stephen Parker (Stoma) in Bangkok, Thailand.

Sopha has also written (please click on title):

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