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| AHYMSIN NEWSLETTER, ISSUE - October 2014 | ||||||||
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From Mind to Consciousnessby Trix Dekkers- HeeziusA personal experience. Intensive Silent Retreat, From Mind to Consciousness, 10 – 14 October 2014 guided by Pandit Stoma Parker, Ashu JI, and Swami Ma Tripurashakti Bharati. The retreat was organized by Hymns: Himalayan Yoga Meditation Netherlands Society. In the monastery Beukenhof in Biezenmortel in the Netherlands.   May I share one of my many small insights or an incident prior to my meeting with Guru? It is about 8 years ago that I first attended a silence retreat with the Himalayan Tradition. I had tasted from the benefits of not speaking during a few days while spending some time in a Sufi camp with Pir Vilayat Khan, then still alive. The joy of being with 400 people from all over the world, being silent together, was an unforgettable experience.  Cherishing the memory of this event, I came across an announcement from HYMNS and went in a cold December in 2008 to a 5 day Silence, with Swami Ritavan, Stomaji and Ashutosh [Sharma]. I was so impressed by their knowledge and commitment that since then I follow the Tradition and attend the silence retreats every year. There has been a great difference since my first steps in silence. Where in the Swiss mountains with the Sufis I was astonished at how much energy one saves when not speaking and how much love and understanding one can share nevertheless, the process has deepened and changed over the years.   I remember how busy I was the days before I went to the retreat. The result was that I arrived very tired and needed the first 2 days to wind down. I can see now how those first times the tongue was still, but that was about all. My senses were still very much turned outside, noticing all the peculiarities and behaviour of the people present. Of course, the mind was overflowing with comments. Looking back at the banality of the thoughts that came up was (and is unfortunately) shocking! Over the years the process went faster, the ability to turn the senses inward increased, thoughts calmed down more easily. I realised this year that I had been preparing still better for these days, making sure everything was done in time. I stopped drinking coffee (which I was consuming again lately) several days beforehand and went to bed earlier. I was calm and peaceful even before arriving! It was marvelous to feel the same thing in more people. The group was really dedicated upon arriving so that most of us were silent by teatime! Nevertheless I got caught by a thought the very first morning at breakfast. The idea came to me how odd it was to sit there in peace, chew our food 32 times, lay down in comfortable relaxations, do contemplative walking on the beautiful lawn, while wars are going on , people starve, people have to run for their lives and so on. Before I knew it, tears dripped in my yoghurt, as the thought made me very emotional. It was interesting to watch it happen, and it calmed down soon. It brought me also the idea for a Seva project, so it was very useful.   The fact that the senses are turned inward brings along the effect that it is not worrying me so much anymore what impression people have of me. That diminishes the vrittis of the mind considerably! It made that I was happily walking contemplatively barefooted through the grass! And drove by car to the splendid dunes for a brisk walk. The walks of Ashutosh being so brisk along the roads that I never kept up with him and strained myself terribly in trying to do so... Another effect of being more aware is the appreciation of food. I found myself eating less and less everyday and not only due to the fact that the food was not very sattvic, but I was less hungry and much faster satisfied by the mindful tasting and chewing. Being in rest and turned inward made the practices go deeper, the slow and precise way of doing asana make one realise once again what Hatha Yoga is really about. The subtle body practices so beautifully guided by Pandit Stoma had great effect. The 61 point relaxation made me feel indeed like a galaxy on my own (although I must confess that the image of a fully lit Christmas tree arose!). I was able to feel how I tended to slip into body awareness once in a while and how following the points I was part of a field of light and energy, I was light and energy. How wonderful... The Shitali Karana exercise the next day was less spectacular but very still. It is so comfortable to be lead by the skillful directions and soft voice of Stomaji. And the 3rd day when he led us into yoga nidra, it was mentioned by several of us afterwards as being the ultimate enjoyable experience.   In the evening, we had lectures, two by Stomaji of which I enjoyed the one on “sravanam, mananam and nididhyasanam” the most. Very surprising was the lecture of Swami Ma Tripurashakti Bharati, a young Dutch woman in the Tradition, who was invited by Willem [Meijer] when still in his body. Dear Willem who we missed so much... It would be beautiful to see and hear more of Ma Tripurashakti. She transferred her joyful enthusiasm on us and meanwhile left us totally silent after she finished speaking. I will take with me her often repeated sentence “Surrendering the ego is becoming constantly aware of the Reality within” and her exclamation “It is here, now”! WOW! Days later I am still exercising on her remark how we can learn not to see more clearly, but to be aware of the fact that “there is seeing”, not to hear but to be aware “there is hearing,” etc. Sometimes a different phrasing helps understanding more. During the closing ceremony we shared what we would “take home” from this experience and this varied from “trust to be able to find the silence in oneself”, “joy”, “gratefulness”, “deep relaxation”, “new energy to go on with one’s life”, etc. Reading back this impression I realise that it is only a description of the circumstances. It is impossible to describe the unspeakable qualities of silence, but a top of the veil was lifted and once again I feel this is only the beginning of the journey......... In gratitude, Trix Dekkers -Heezius Editor's note: Trix teaches in Driebergen, Netherlands. We invite you to visit her website: http://yogastudiodriebergen.nl/
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