I was ten years old when I wrote my first story.

Ever since that time, I have used writing as a way to understand myself and the world around me. I write stories to heal myself, to inspire myself, and to explore many different ideas. My latest writing project is called The Endless Sea. It’s a historical fiction trilogy; the first two books are finished, but the third was a mystery to me until last summer, when I was inspired to set the final book of my trilogy in 1925 India.

I’m telling you this because the reason I wanted to come to India was to do research for this novel. I would not have come otherwise.

I trust my characters deeply, so when a character said they spent time in an ashram, I knew I also had to spend time in an ashram, in order to write more authentically. There are many ashrams in Rishikesh, let alone India. I knew I wanted an ashram with a focus on meditation – I have practiced for nearly twenty years, but wanted to deepen my personal practice. I quickly found Swami Rama Sadhaka Grama online. With the pictures and the reviews, I looked at the ashram schedule online and found a special retreat – a 25-day Immersion into the Sri Lalita Sahasranaam.

The minute I saw this retreat, my heart told me, Jen, this is the one I want.

I trust my heart completely, but I still said: Really, heart? 25 days? How about seven or ten?

My heart replied: It has to be this one. Do it.

So I obeyed. I came to Rishikesh, to SRSG, to the Sri Lalita, and in one of our very first sessions with Rabindra-ji, he said that it’s by the grace of the Divine Mother that our small group gathered together. I completely agree. Mother’s hand clearly guided me in finding this retreat.

My heart soaked up all the teachings, as we went through each of the thousand names of the Divine Mother in class together. My heart burned and expanded as we completed daily havana, the fire ceremony with offerings to the Mother after each and every name. My heart sighed and relaxed each evening in meditation with the other sadhakas.

Day by day, my heart got bigger. How? Rabindra-ji taught us about the heart cave where the Mother dwells, and I excavated more space for Her there. I learned about my dharma, my potential in life, and how to align it with Her. I learned about karmic debts, and through physical and emotional purification, paid some of those debts, making even more space for Her in my heart cave. Day by day, name by name, offering by offering, I kept excavating that cave and found that my heart kept expanding, kept burning, kept being illuminated by that Divine light that burned from the sacred fire within.

We concluded the retreat with the nine nights of the Navaratri, learning about the nine forms of the Divine Mother. Within these ancient teachings I found a map for life, a map that has been inside my body, within my spine and chakra system all this time. Just imagine that, for a moment. All our outward seeking for this purpose and that fulfilment, success and pleasure and whatever else the mundane world offers, when everything we’ve ever needed for our liberation is within.

One name after another, these Divine forms of the Mother, rising from our root chakra up the spine, taking the challenges of life and rising to meet them with one-pointed awareness gained through meditation and our austerities, gaining self-confidence, opening our hearts, receiving strength to remain on the path despite obstacles and temptations, reaching the point of cutting all attachments even with death and time, all to become one with the brilliant radiance that is the Divine Mother, and thereby a fit instrument in Her hands.

I can scarcely express how I now feel. Reborn. Baptised by the fire of the offerings. Empowered yet humble, energised yet meek, determined to make my life my sadhana, giving back to Her whatever I can in small, soft, invisible ways, taming my ego’s desire for attention. Above all, to become a very loving, nurturing human being who creates as little burden as possible on the world, and who provides, through story and writing, a taste of the Divine Grace that is afforded each of us.

May the Mother’s grace come to you, wherever you are, may you also excavate more space in your heart cave, cleaning and polishing your windows so that Her light can shine through the house of your body. May you spend more time in meditation, in contemplation of her thousand names, and let those names imbue every aspect of your life. And may you find joy in all service given to all living beings, who are also the Divine Mother in her limitless forms. Namaste.

Editor’s Note:

In preparation for the auspicious Navaratri (9-nights) dedicated to the Divine Mother, a 25-Days Immersion into the Shri Lalita Sahasranaam was held at Swami Rama Sadhaka Grama Ashram in Rishikesh. It was an immersive study of the Shri lalitha Sahasranaam (1000 names of Mother Divine). We had daily havana (fire offerings) with all 1000 mantras of the Mother from the Shri lalitha Sahasranaam, along with contemplations on the meanings of the 1000 names of the Mother. We also offered recitations of the Shri lalitha Sahasranaam Stotram each day.

The retreat concluded with the Navaratri celebrations that included the akhanda (non-stop) recitation of the Shri lalitha Sahasranaam for all the nine days and nights of the Navaratri, along with daily pujas and classes on the nine forms of the Mother Divine.

Swami Veda’s recitation of the Shri Lalita Sahasranaam: