When I was new to the Himalayan Yoga Meditation Tradition, I heard two things that I didn’t understand. Both of them were about the mantra that’s given at initiation:  The first was that one should “listen” to the mantra when meditating rather than “thinking” or “doing” the mantra, and the second was that over years of practice, the mantra becomes a friend in our mind that can lead us toward wisdom.

The day after I received my mantra, while I was typing in the law office I was working in (they had typewriters in those days) I could hear the mantra in my mind. It was repeating over and over and seemed to have a life of its own. This struck me as phenomenal.  But after that, for a very long time, I needed to think the mantra when meditating and had this guilty feeling that I must be doing something wrong, must be a really poor student, or I’d be hearing the mantra. But try as I might, I didn’t know how to hear the mantra.

At meditation retreats, I’d sit and do the mantra. When the teacher said to “listen” to the mantra, I’d mentally repeat it.  I knew this wasn’t right, but didn’t know how to do anything else.  This went on for years.

I don’t know when the change began, but sometime over a long time of practicing, the mantra took hold in my mind, and, as it did that first day after initiation, seemed to have it’s own existence.  One day I noticed that the mantra repeated of its own accord in my mind, rather than “me” having to repeat it.  I could sort of sit back and just watch, or listen to it.

Af first, this happened now and then, completely randomly.  Over more years, it happened more often and became the norm.  Sometimes the mantra came into my mind completely on its own, and I’d notice it there repeating itself. Other times, I’d want to hear it and it would come.  There were also times when I’d start thinking the mantra, and it would continue on its own.

Only when that happened did I realize what was meant by “listening” to the mantra.
Now that more years have passed, the mantra has evolved further. It’s rare that I actually think the mantra any more, unless I’m extremely tired, sick, or stressed out.  Usually with a little prompting the mantra appears and sings its song; and it is a beautiful song.

It seems to me that this process was like planting a seed in a garden.  Have you planted seeds in your garden?  If so, you’ll know that there are several steps involved.  First the soil has to be made ready and fertile.  When the seed is placed in the soil, water needs to be applied in the proper amount and frequency, and there is a lot of waiting for anything to happen.  After what seems like a long time, a tiny stem appears above the ground, which, with continued care, slowly grows in size and hardiness until it turns into a mature plant.

It’s the same with the mantra.  Initiation isn’t given to everyone, but only to those whom the teacher senses is ready to receive it, whose mind is fertile.  Oftentimes, practices are given before initiation to cultivate a fertile mind.  Then, at the initiation, a thought seed is planted in that mental soil.  To husband that seed, we repeat the mantra daily and, slowly, over time, the seed matures and becomes a force in our mind.

From this perspective, it made sense that I needed to repeat my mantra intentionally at first.  When first given, the mantra seed hadn’t yet sprouted and had to be nurtured so it could sprout, take hold in the mind, and grow.  As it did so, fitfully at first, and then more consistently, it became a beautiful flowering plant in the garden of my mind.

Over the years I have come to experience absolute delight in my mantra, truly as if it were my oldest and dearest friend.  How this happened I don’t know.  What’s more, when the mantra appears, it calms me down. It’s as if it comes bearing gifts of peace, and this peace affects my whole being.

So now I understand both of the puzzling statements I heard about the mantra in my early yoga days.  Yet, there is so much to learn.

Recently, I learned more about how the mantra leads me toward wisdom and is a true friend.  Henry, a business partner who I find extremely difficult to talk with, phoned me to discuss our joint-project.  Whenever Henry calls, I don’t feel like taking the call.  He has the most outlandish ideas and doesn’t listen when I talk. In the past, I’ve often found it so frustrating to talk with him that I felt an overwhelming compulsion to hang up the phone, and struggled to stay on so as not to be rude.  This particular day, however, rather than struggling to listen, I began to hear the mantra deep in my mind, while, on the surface, listening what Henry was saying.  As usual, Henry went on and on saying things that I completely disagreed with, and when I tried to express my point of view, he just kept talking.

As this went on, I listened to the mantra, relaxing into that beautiful sound. It was like being in a deep warm pool, while hearing Henry-birds chattered in the distant trees.  From this comfortable place, Henry’s insensitivity and ridiculous point of view didn’t bother me.  Instead, I was able to relax and hear out the whole one-sided conversation, which went on and on and on, and I did not have the usual fight to stay on the phone until he finished.  When Henry’s conversation ended, I was still relaxed.

Being able to listen to Henry in this way was very helpful.  Henry isn’t really a bad person. Although extremely difficult, he means well, and he and I are tied together in a mutually beneficial business situation that would be extremely costly emotionally and financially to unwind.  Because of the mantra, I was able to hear what Henry said, not act badly myself, and ended up feeling very well. I’ll bet Henry felt fine too.

What better friend can a person have? The mantra is my friend.