Question
Kindly help me. Fear has made me not able to do my work. It has caused fatigue and tiredness. It’s been a few years like this. This anxiety has been very debilitating.
Answers
Lalita Arya (Ammaji), Michael Smith, and Carolyn Hume have responded to this question.
From Lalita Arya (Ammaji)
On FEAR
My first experience of dealing with Fear as I remember was as a young child. We lived near the rain forests in a rustic area where flushed toilets were unknown and it would have been considered impure to have them in the homes, in any case, in those days. So we had outside latrines.
Before going to bed we were advised to go there so we did not have to disturb the parents in the middle of the night. However, in the tropics night comes quickly. There is hardly twilight. So when it was time to go to bed, if we had an early dinner it was fine to go by oneself. But if it got to nighttime, that became a problem. As one evening started to fade into darkness, I stood by the door wanting to visit the latrine that was about 5 minutes walk away from the house. I stood in the doorway in my pajamas peering into the darkness, waiting and watching; I have no idea what for. My Mom came by and asked, “What are you waiting for, go?” I looked at her and said “I’m scared, please come with me.” She smiled and said, “What are you afraid of?” I said “I don’t know.” So she paused and said, “Look at me. You have fear in your mind, but if you give your mind something else to think about, the fear will disappear.”
I kind of grinned and said, “What do you mean?” She answered, “Do you remember Gayatri mantra?” Well, of course, I did as that was the first mantra we were taught. She continued, “Hold my hand start reciting the Gayatri, and go boldly out there with nothing to fear,” as she loosened her grip. I stepped out, turned to look at her, she smiled and shook her head and pointed towards the outhouse. I kept looking here and there, reciting silently went and did what I had to do, came back still reciting, back into her open arms. To this day I have never been afraid of the dark.
Here is another family incident. One of our daughters, Saumya was having teenage nightmares, and when she told me, I directed her to her father. He tried all the lectures on fear, etc., but she would not listen. He finally said, OK, go and read the novel Dune by Frank Herbert (1965) and there is a poem on Fear. She did not pay attention. Many years after he was with students in Minneapolis at The Center, and she now an older teen was with me in the kitchen as I made tea for him. I asked her to take it up to him where he was teaching in his room. He took the tea, and introduced her to the students and said, “At one time she came to me complaining of nightmares and I advised her to read Dune, the novel. But she doesn’t listen to me.” So Saumya smiled at him, recited the entire poem on Fear, and then the Gayatri mantra, gave a bow and left him with his mouth open.
Here is the Poem:
FEAR
I must not fear.
Fear is a mind killer
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye
To see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
From DUNE by Frank Herbert, 1965
There are many writings on this subject, in our philosophical texts, but I thought these two practical experiences might help.
A good picture to view before meditation to help conquer fear is the Abhaya mudra of the Buddha. The Abhaya mudra (fearless gesture) is a mudra that is a gesture of safety, bestowing divine protection and bliss in eastern philosophies. The right hand is held up facing outwards. (Photo taken from internet)
From Michael Smith
It would be helpful to know what you feel is the SOURCE of the fear. There might be some external situation that you feel is scary – some future event that you feel you can’t deal with — or you are in a situation where you have a great deal of responsibility with very little control over the outcomes. The important thing to know is that you can only do the best you can in the present moment, so worry is not helpful in any way. There are many helpful books and articles on how to cope with fear. Sometimes people need to change their diet, or change their job, or get away from a toxic environment that is unhealthy or even noisy. Dr. Phil Nuernberger’s Freedom from Stress has some helpful suggestions about “psycho-social stress” as does Dr. Stephen (Stoma) Parker’s Clearing the Path.
Sometimes people ask what they can do right now, during a panic attack or an anxiety episode. What would be some kind of emergency measures? For myself, I always feel better if I take a walk in the woods or someplace out in nature. Nature is always in balance, so I kind of open myself to the natural harmony of the trees, plants, water and sky. And I always go inside and check to see how I am breathing. Here are some things that might be helpful:
Blow on a musical instrument (a trumpet, clarinet, harmonica, kazoo, whatever), or just purse your lips and blow out with a smooth, extended exhalation. The purpose of doing is to notice that when a long stream of air is being expelled in this way, fear disappears! This tells us that negative self-talk, and the feelings that go with it, are related to how we breathe.
One of the goals of Yoga is have a mind which is free from agitations and disturbances, and one of the ways this is accomplished is by refining one’s breathing. There are several qualities to Yogic Breathing: (1) Diaphragmatic, (2) Nasal, (3) Smooth, (4) Soundless, (5) Slow/Deep, (6) Relaxed, (7) Continuous, and (8) Even, with the same pressure and duration.
One of the most important qualities to Yogic Breathing is that it is Continuous. When you are about to come to the end of an inhalation or exhalation, prepare for the transition and let it be relaxed and seamless, allowing the inhalations to flow into the exhalations, and the exhalations to flow into the inhalations, like an ellipse or an infinity sign. When breathing is Continuous, it has the same effect as when you blow on a musical instrument; the flow of air is unbroken, and fearful thoughts cannot come into the mind. If you say, “Oh yes they can. I did what you said, and I still had fearful thoughts.” This is because the flow of breath had tiny little breaks in it. So you need to keep refining your breathing until you have all aspects of Yogic Breathing and the breath stream is relaxed, smooth and seamless.
Do the ½ shoulder stand, or simply lie up against a wall with the legs vertical (on the wall) with some support under the hips (blankets, cushions, pillows). Just lie there, totally relaxed and do Yogic Breathing, gently allowing your breathing to be natural. Let go, let go, let go. Because you are topsy-turvy (or semi-topsy-turvy) the abdominal organs press downward on the diaphragmatic muscle and there is a shift in the way you breathe so that relaxing becomes easier.
Nadi Shodhana. There are three versions of Nadi Shodhana shown in Chapter 5 of Swami Rama’s Meditation and Its Practice, but it would be good to learn it from a skilled teacher. Once you know how to do it, sit in a comfortable sitting posture, do Yogic Breathing, and continue to do Nadi Shodhana until the fear dissolves. This is a very gentle exercise – no strain, no struggling. Do many repetitions of Nadi Shodhana for 10 or 15 minutes if you need to. Nadi Shodhana helps balance the breath in the nostrils so that the same volume of air is inhaled and exhaled in the right and left nostril. When the breath flow in both nostrils becomes balanced and harmonious, then the mind becomes very peaceful — and sometimes, after you have finished, there is an intuitive understanding of the fearful external situation that was not there before. It may be that the external situation does not change at all, but you KNOW now how to look at the situation differently – and you know what you need to do . . . or NOT do.
What was written above was mainly about stop-gap measures for stress etc. There is a whole other aspect to working with fear which necessitates on-going sadhana and gradually changing the entire fabric of the mind so it is less susceptible to “threatening” events. Swami Veda talked about “smoothing out the rough edges of the mind,” so that instead of walking around on a bed of nails, it’s possible to walk on memory foam and have built-in resiliency. With sadhana, there is also a gradual disidentification with the ego (the small fragile self) and, instead, an expansion of the personality – to identification others, with all living beings, and eventually with one’s essential nature. One does not “react” to daily situations as much as “respond” to them from a higher, deeper perspective. Swami Nijananda said, also, that with mantra initiation into a spiritual tradition (and the habit of mantra-japa), one has a “plexiglas shield” between you and external events.
Some people have said that FEAR is the dominant emotion with human beings.
I think it comes with “localization” — when Adam and Eve ate the Apple and were separated from the totality – strangers in a strange land. There’s a Sufi saying: “After the first sin there is no other.”
Leonard Perlmutter has written: “The ignorance of believing that I am an individual mind-body-sense complex leads to my separation from the whole. This division always leads to fear, and fear invites danger.”
From Carolyn Hume
I agree with Michael that fear basically comes from identification with the finite.
There can be an examination of one’s fears. Witnessing the fear, not identifying with it.
Swami Rama has written,
“Fears, if not examined, will develop strong roots, though they are often rootless. Fear invites danger.
“Self-preservation is the instinct that remains always vigilant to protect the body. This instinct is useful up to a certain extent, but it should not become an obsession in life. When fear becomes an obsession, all spiritual potentials become dormant. Fears are never examined—that is why they are able to control human life. They should be examined boldly.
“Fear has two faces: I might lose what I have, and I might not gain what I want. These two thoughts should not be entertained, and cannot be when you remember your mantra or the presence of the Lord within.
“Fearlessness is very important. One should constantly remain in spiritual delight, so that no fear is entertained. Fearlessness comes from knowing that God is with us, and that we are with God.”
Diaphragmatic breathing can be helpful. When one becomes fearful, one can re-establish diaphragmatic breathing and practice breath awareness.
The 2 minute meditation could be a tool, which also includes a short progressive relaxation.
Swami Veda Bharati has written, “Relax your forehead. It is not possible for thoughts of worries, anxieties, fears, aggression and so forth to arise in the mind if the forehead is kept relaxed.” (Meditation: The Art and Science)
Also sometimes we do not readily identify fear as fear, or a basis of other emotions.
Also “Mantra for Freedom from Fear” by Swami Veda popped into my mind:
abhayaṃ naḥ karaty antarikṣam abhayaṃ
dyāvā-pṛthivī ubhe ime
abhayaṃ paścād abhayaṃ purastāduttarād
udharād abhayaṃ no astu
abhayaṃ mitrād abhayaṃ amitrād
abhayaṃ jñātād abhayaṃ parokṣāt
abhayaṃ naktam abhayaṃ divā naḥ
sarvā āśā mama mitraṃ bhavantu
oṃ
dṛte dṛṃha mā mitrasya mā cakṣuṣā
sarvāṇi bhūtāni samīkṣantāṁ
mitrasyāhaṃ cakṣuṣā sarvāṇi bhūtāni samīkṣe
mitrasya cakṣuṣā samīkṣāmahe
oṃ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ
Abhayaṃ means no fear because there is no danger. If all are friends to me and I am friends to all, from whom have I any danger? Whom may I have cause to fear?
May the sky grant us abhayaṃ.
May the heaven and earth both grant us abhayaṃ.
May I have abhayaṃ from behind.
Abhayaṃ from the front.
From above and below, may there be abhayaṃ for us.
Abhayaṃ from the friend,
Abhayaṃ from the foe.
Abhayaṃ from what is known to me.
Abhayaṃ from what is beyond the eyes.
Abhayaṃ in the night. Abhayaṃ in the day.
May all directions, all quarters, be friends unto me.
O Divine Mother, upholder of the universe, grant me strength that I may see all beings with the eyes of a friend.
May all beings look at me with the eyes of a friend.
May they all, all of us living beings, look at each other with the eyes of a friend.
For when all is friend, there is abhayaṃ.
Om. Peace. Peace. Peace.
Editor’s Note
If you have any questions about your spiritual practice, you may write to the AHYMSIN Spiritual Committee at adhyatmasamiti@gmail.com.
