Author: Mandala

Searching for my Guru

God’s Providence, like the blue sky, is forever above us all. And so, after searching for two decades, it was Divine Providence that led me to my Guru, Sri Swami Rama. It all started after I read Paramahansa Yogananda’s Autobiography of a Yogi in the late 1960s. That book inspired me to join the Self Realization Fellowship (SRF) program of the Yogoda Satsang Society founded by Yogananda. However, my search for a living Guru continued because SRF’s distance learning material could not fulfill my yearning for direct spiritual guidance.

Then in the mid-1980s, I had the good fortune to visit Sri Satya Sai Baba’s ashram in Puttaparathi, India. It must have been his Divine will that enabled me to visit him. During my first visit, I was struck by Baba’s infinite compassion for humanity which was reflected on his face. I was seated perhaps less than ten feet from where he stopped to bless a devotee with vibhuti (sacred ash). He had rolled up his sleeves and was churning the air creating fragrant vibhuti which poured from his fingertips on to the outstretched palms of the devotee. My second visit to Baba’s ashram was also memorable. I had written a letter to Baba in my hotel room hoping to hand it to him the next morning at darshan time. Actually, there was only a slim chance of doing so given the thousands of devotees seated row upon row for Baba’s darshan and the fact that he did not accept letters from everyone.

I was seated on the third or fourth row behind one of the many aisles that Baba could have chosen to go around the congregation that day. As fate would have it, he turned to walk by our aisle. Seized by some strange force, I broke darshan rules by standing up and stepping across the rows to hand Baba the letter. He accepted it and as I stood in his presence palms together in deep reverence, time stood still. His gaze penetrated my soul. I believe Baba guided me to Guruji since he did not initiate devotees.

Around summer 1987, I started chanting every morning a chapter from the Chandi extolling the virtues of the Divine Mother. Given my weak Sanskrit, it was a challenge to memorize the verses and recite them with the correct pronunciation. Shortly thereafter, I started reading several books written by Swamiji. The events that followed are recounted below based mostly on my journal entries supplemented by my recollections regarding minor details.

The early years

In April 1988, my wife and I along with our son Anshuman and daughter Prianka (then age eight and five) drove to Honesdale hoping to meet Swamiji. It was a memorable day when our heartfelt desires were granted and we were able to meet him. Swamiji blessed us all. I still vividly remember him with his arms around my children, telling my daughter Prianka in jest “You stay with me”. Without any hesitation, she said “No, I want my mommy!” Swamiji laughed and said “OK”.  He had a special corner for children.

I asked Swamiji whether I should continue with the practice of kriya yoga as taught by the SRF or seek initiation directly from him. He smiled and said “It is up to you” to which I said “Swamiji, I need a living Guru to guide me.” He nodded and said “I will write to you and tell you when to come for initiation”. I was floating on cloud nine.

A few days after I reached home, his letter dated May 18, 1988, arrived asking me to come to Honesdale. My wife and I left for the Institute later that month. The morning after our arrival, we joined a kirtan group at the Institute which he was leading. Seeing me Swamiji said “Where were you? I was looking for you”. I believe that preparatory practices, perhaps including those from lifetimes past, created the necessary conditions to meet Swamiji and obtain his initiation. Verily, as the shastras say, when the disciple is ready, the Guru appears.

The time for my initiation was fixed at 9:00 am on Monday, May 30, but it was advanced to 7:00 am. I had brought some fruits and flowers as offerings to Swamiji, but he said, pointing to a table, “Keep it there. It’s alright. You are my flower.” I later learned that Swamiji discouraged the plucking of flowers. Later, just prior to my initiation, he asked “Which God do you like?” I said, with great pride “Ma Durga!”

With infinite compassion, as if not wanting to disappoint, Swamiji said “Your Ma Durga does not look like how you see Her in pictures and posters. She is a ‘jyoti’, a flame burning within you. You are not to do any rituals, but only manas puja (mental worship).” He then chanted the following sloka in Sanskrit:

“Sivah saktya yukto yadi bhavati saktah prabhavitum
na cadevam devo na khalu kusalah spanditumapi…..”

explaining that “Siva and Sakti are not two, but one. If you remove ‘eekar’ (a letter in Sanskrit) from Siva, it becomes ‘Sav’ or dead! Siva cannot move without Shakti. There is a book that is called Saundarya Lahiri. You must study that book.” (I later came to know that Guruji had chanted part of Verse I of the Saundarya Lahiri).

I was then initiated into the Himalayan Tradition or Parampara. Guruji instructed me on the preparation for meditation and adopting the correct posture. He then explained the meaning of my mantra and said “Don’t leave this (mantra). Fifty percent of the effort (towards self-realization) is yours and fifty percent is mine. The practice of meditation must be regular at a fixed time in a quiet corner of your house. Our relationship is very high and pure. I will always love you and guide you. You can come and visit me whenever I am in Chicago or Honesdale or anywhere else.”

I felt as if the long-lost love of a thousand mothers had come together for one majestic moment.

Sometime after my initiation, when I asked Guruji whether I will ever be cured of my long-standing psoriatic arthritis, he said in Hindi “Nehi, shant ho sakta hai” meaning “No, but it can be pacified”. Over time, my worries related to this condition receded. I reposed in the firm conviction that Guruji will look after me for he said so. His words were the new Gita for me.

However, I had to pay my karmic debts and battle TB in 2016/17. I had contracted TB at some point in the past which remained latent and of which I was unaware. Latent TB became active when, in an effort to control psoriatic arthritis, the biologic suppressed my immune system . Apart from this bump on the road, psoriatic arthritis has been well-controlled since I started treatment with a biologic in 2004.

During another visit to the Institute to see him in late May, 1990, he looked at me and muttered to himself in Hindi: “Abhi Tak Mast May Nehi Aya”, meaning “He has not come into carefree joy yet”. That remark still rings in my ears. Far from being disheartened at my lack of progress, I was actually elated because I took Guruji’s observation to mean that if I continued my practices, I had the potential to attain “mast” or causeless joy. The qualifier “causeless” means that the joy does not come from the things of this world such as making money, getting a big promotion, or winning the lottery. His remark that day shall continue to motivate me on the spiritual path for the rest of my life.

On that visit, I mentioned to him that the doctor had prescribed a potent skin ointment to control the discomfort and spread of psoriasis patches. Guruji said “Do not use that ointment because if you do, the patches will start to appear on your face!” I did not say anything. Guruji then instructed me on a higher technique of meditation than the one I was supposed to have received. This one aimed at purifying the various chakras and establishing the mantra more firmly in the conscious and subconscious mind. Imparting the technique and the mantra, Guruji said “Do not identify yourself with the mind and the things of this world. Your essential nature is existence, consciousness, bliss—Sat, Chit, Ananda. You are not the self but Atman, which is part of the Paratman, the Eternal Self.”

Later, when I was back at home, I thought since the dermatologist prescribed this medicine, it should be alright. After all, Guruji was not a dermatologist! How could he know more about the side effects of this medicine than the dermatologist? So, I continued to use it as prescribed. Sure enough, after a few weeks of using it, psoriasis patches started to appear on my face! I was terrified and depressed and immediately stopped using the medicine with a deep apology and prayer to Guruji. Mercifully, the facial patches slowly cleared in a few weeks. Again, I was flabbergasted by Guruji’s power of words and his ability to predict events.

I meet Guruji with my “elder brother”

The next highlight of my visit to see Guruji was on June 4, 1993. My late friend, Subalda, whom I looked upon as my elder brother, had accompanied me on that trip to the Institute. When we arrived there on the evening of June 4th, Swamiji had already finished playing tennis and was sitting on the lawn with some disciples and visitors surrounding him. Even though he was engaged, he did not fail to welcome me and said “When did you come?” I felt as if I had just come home. I said, “We came only this afternoon.” He then asked when I was leaving, and I said, “We plan to leave tomorrow, Guruji.” After we touched his feet, we sat on the grass listening to him speak and watching him play with children. Before he retired to his quarters, he gave us some cookies and told us that he would meet with us tomorrow.

At 9:30 am the next morning, Subalda and I were waiting to see Guruji when I was called in. I thought he will see us separately. When I entered his room, he said in Hindi “Did you come alone?” I said “No, Guruji, my friend came with me.” To which he said “Bulao na”, in Hindi meaning “Why don’t you call him?” So, I went to find Subalda. After we entered his room, I said, by way of introduction, “Guruji, Subalda is my very good friend, and I treat him like my elder brother. He is a very good astrologer.”  Guruji did not say anything, but his facial expression said “Yes, I already know.” (And I thought “Guruji, what can I tell you? You know everything!”).

Subalda said “Swamiji, may I do your kundali (horoscope)? I have been studying astrology for the past 43 years”. Guruji smiled and said “OK, go ahead”. Subalda then asked Guruji his birthday and his “lagna”. According to Vedic astrology, a person’s lagna is determined by that point of the zodiacal belt that coincides with the position of the eastern horizon at the time and place of birth. Guruji said the date of birth was October 25, 1923, on kumbh lagna. He then asked Subalda where in Calcutta he was from noting that he had spent some years there and went to school in Shantineketan. I did not know this and was surprised. Then Guruji said that he was raised by the Shyama Prasad Mukherjee family. Shyama Prasad Mukherjee was the son of Sri Asutosh Mukherjee, an illustrious figure of Bengal known to most Bengalis.

We then started talking about the planned Himalayan Institute Hospital in Jolly Grant, near Dehra Dun, India. Guruji said he will work hard till his last breath to complete the project. It will be the largest hospital in Asia which will serve the poor and those in the surrounding hinterlands. The hospital will cost around $680 million. I was astonished and asked Guruji where all that money will come from? Guruji said “If your World Bank can lend money, don’t you think that God’s bank can give money too?” We were amazed by such confidence which could only have come from a direct connection to the Divine. Guruji was simply carrying out the Divine will. Many years later, I read that he said “When I wanted things they never came to me. But the day I determined I didn’t want them, I began getting them.”

I then asked Guruji about the significance of an experience I had during meditation. I said “Guruji, recently while meditating I saw a searing white light that was so bright that it frightened me. I felt as if I was going to lose myself, my identity. I wonder what it was.” Guruji said “It’s nothing. When the mind settles, it happens.” (I told myself, “Don’t be under the delusion that it is an indication of spiritual progress. There is nothing there to hanker for. Move on.”)

Just before taking his leave, after we touched Guruji’s feet in pranam, he said to Subalda “There is something higher than astrology.” I shall always remember this. Later, when we were back in our room, Subalda said “When I touched Swamiji’s feet, it was as cold as stone!” (Mysterious are your ways Guruji! We shall never know them.)

From here to eternity

Apart from my last meeting with Guruji in 1995, about which I wrote in The River of Crocodiles, I recollect one other meeting with him the previous year. I had returned from Cancun, Mexico where I had gone on a vacation with my family. While standing close to the beach with the water up to my chest and my ten-year old daughter swimming nearby, the floor beneath my feet suddenly gave way and I sank like a rock. I did not know swimming and was rapidly taking in water. Absolute panic gripped me as I fought to save myself from drowning. Although by then I was meditating for about six years, the force of self-preservation was so strong that it swamped any chance of the mantra coming to the fore and rescuing me. It became clear to me that any notion of spiritual progress was a delusion. The path to self-realization seemed to stretch from here to eternity.

It was only Guruji’s grace and protection that saved me. When I recounted my ordeal to Guruji and thanked him profusely for saving me, he simply said “The Divine Mother saved you” although his eyes said “I knew about this incident”. He was the very epitome of humility. Now that Guruji is no longer on the physical plane, he continues to spread across every moment of my life like a rainbow that spreads across the sky in splendor.

The Meditation Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota – USA. 25 January 2018

Let’s pay homage to the Guru Lineage. Let’s connect with their minds. Take the awareness through the presence of the Guru by the Guru Mantra, your personal mantra, your personal mantra reciting in your mind for a moment. Then join me for Guru Shanti and then we’ll begin:

gurur brahmā gurur viṣhṇur gurur devo maheśhvaraḥ
guruḥ sākṣhāt param brahmā tasmai śhrī-gurave namaḥ
Om! Śhāntiḥ! Śhāntiḥ! Śhāntiḥ!

Thank you! Namaste!

First of all I would like to thank Rajnikant who initiated this thought that I should do a Skype session. At the beginning I resisted it. Somehow I said “no” in my mind, but to him I always say “yes,” and I like this idea. It’s a great way to connect, and I would be happy to do more and more satsang this way – whatever you guys need. Whenever there is a need for me to speak, please me know. And I am so grateful and thankful to Rajnikant, and so “Thank you, Rajnikant!”

It’s always good to be with the Center and with all those who are here. This evening what I would like to share with you is what I was told when I asked a certain question to Swami Veda and also Swami Rama of the Himalayas. The question was: “How can we deepen our own practice, which is known as sadhana?”

I was told that no matter how many books I read, or how much I know, or how beautifully I can interpret the scriptures – any of the yoga-sutras, for example – these things would not take me to the final realization; they would not lead me there unless I put them into practice. So we must practice what we know. Swamiji said that we do not need to know all, but you need to practice what you know.

So, sadhana is the most important aspect of what we know. And the Yoga-sutras say that sadhana needs regularity. If we are not regular, we will not move further. This morning I was teaching a class, and I told the students that regular practice is needed. It’s mandatory. It’s a must. It does not have to be for too long. You don’t have to devote many hours to it, or even one hour. But regularity is required, even if you spend only five or ten minutes. Five or ten minutes will not make a huge difference in your daily schedule, but make sure that you are regular. Swami Veda repeatedly used to tell me, “It’s your appointment with the lineage. It’s your appointment with the Guru.”

The tools, the means, and the ways that we need in order to deepen our own practice are very simple: All it needs is remembrance. And the very first remembrance for me – the tool that I put into my practice – is that I am initiated into the Himalayan Tradition. This thought alone with inspire you every day to sit for your meditation, because when we sit, we communicate with the Guru. And there are not many people who have a Guru in their lives.

We are so fortunate, we are so lucky that we have a Guru in the form of a mantra that has been given to us. There are times when situations are such that we feel that our meditation practice is not helping us, or we feel that we don’t have time to do it. We may feel that we are disturbed and that we are not “there.”

Somehow or another we feel that we are not getting the chance, or we are not inspired to sit, or to continue sitting, or to put enough effort into our practice. Everybody goes through that, as well as having relationships that demand attention – whether it is family or whether it is work or our health – anything. Even though there are all these things, just remember that you have a mantra. Think: “How many people have a mantra?” When I think that – “I have a mantra! – then I feel very bad for people that do not have a mantra. I have no idea how they deal with their minds when they are in a crisis, when they have problems, when they have issues in their lives. No matter how much turmoil comes into your life, if you simply remember that you have a tool that can dispel the darkness of every issue, every problem, and you use it, then you, my friends, are deepening your own sadhana.

Your sadhana is not only sitting in the morning and the evening and holding your mala beads and doing japa. Your own sadhana is there all day long. You are aware of this factor: that you are a mantra. You have had many sessions from the Shiva Sutras. If you remember the first sutra in the second chapter of the Shiva Sutras, all your sorrows will go away. Do you know what that that first sutra is? “Chittam mantraḥ,” which means that the totality of your mind is mantra – nothing else. Because mana, which is chitta, has the same root as mantra.

So, we have that tool all day long, even though we have issues, even though we’re not doing well, even though there are problems – and Swamiji used to say, “As long as we are in the body, we will always encounter problems.” I was doing a satsang on Tuesday, and it just came out of my mouth, and I said: “We all have problems, and as long as life exists, we will always have problems and struggles. But we can change the perception, and instead of calling them ‘problems,’ we can call them ‘challenges.’” Challenges are very important in life. They shape us. They help purify us. They make us shine. Even in daily life I see on social media that people have all sorts of challenges: food challenges, home challenges, job challenges, health challenges. Why can’t we see all those daily things around us as challenges.

Swami Rama used to watch his students at the Himalayan Institute in Honesdale and see how they were encountering every challenge in their lives. What is your perception and your attitude, and what is the way in which you encounter and approach problems? Swami Veda would do the same thing. He used to ask us to write to him or type an Email. He told me in Calgary that it was not because he needed people’s help, but he was checking on them and seeing how refined they were with their communication.

Has the practice, has the sadhana that we have been doing made us somewhat better, sharper, purer? And he told me one day, “If you are ‘hitting’ the computer keyboard when you type, it means that you are not doing any sadhana.” So, my friends, sadhana means remembrance every single minute, every single hour, that you have the mantra and that you can remain connected with the lineage.  That is the first tool to deepen your practice.

A practice that is very valuable is to make your meditation a priority. Nothing comes higher than our yoga practice. Everything else comes afterwards. Even if you have to ignore something, absolutely ignore it. Swami Veda used to tell me that if you were serious about your practice and were ignoring something else, it was not being selfish. He said, “Be selfish when it comes to doing your practice.” Of course you do things for others and make yourself available, but when it comes to your practice, it’s your practice, and no one else is allowed. Close the door. Ignore what’s going on outside. Absolutely ignore it. That’s the second tool. Make your practice a priority. Then, no matter what happens, these ten minutes are yours. Even if your house falls down or the world falls apart, “I will not care.” I saw that in Swami Veda. Swami Veda used to do that. He said, “Even if the sky is falling, I don’t care. It’s time for my practice.” And from Swami Rama, from his own mouth I heard him say. He used to call me ‘Sonny.’ “Sonny,” he said, “if you are sitting in meditation and the world falls apart, you will be safe because your meditation will protect you.” So these are the thoughts that we need to keep alive.

Let’s say that you are not “with yourself” these days and there are problems and issues you have to deal with, or you are so busy, or you are out of work, or the economy is bad and there is job loss and all that. What do you do at that very time? Do you know what I would do? I would call my close friend who is also initiated in the Himalayan Tradition and just talk and share your thoughts. That’s why there is a sangha. The sangha has a great value in a sadhaka’s life. And that’s why it is advised and encouraged that we have to do satsang. Call a friend and talk to her/him over tea. Or invite him/her to your home, or have lunch. Share your thoughts. You will see some light.

Or have some books in a side table, some inspirational books, like Living with the Himalayan Masters. Keep those kinds of books near you, and every now and then flip to a page. Read just half a page before going to bed. There are many, many, many tools that we can use to uplift our morale and keep our morale higher.

Come to The Meditation Center and just sit down. There is something that you will feel just by being in that presence. Sit in front of the altar. Pandit Rajmani used to tell his son: “Go and sit in the puja room. Just sit. Do nothing.” Swami Veda also used to say, “Just by sitting on your meditation seat, something happens.” His favorite words: “Something happens.” We used that word “something,” because we don’t quite understand how it happens; but “something” happens. And that “something” we need, especially when we are down.

When I do not feel the inclination to do my practice – sometimes I don’t feel any inclination – but I was told, “Do not put yourself down and feel guilty.” But, at the same time, I would call a friend. I will call a friend like Rajnikant, and I will just start talking with him – and we do get inspired by each other’s talk, believe me or not. Any close friend, anybody you know who also practices. Open any inspiring book and start reading. Don’t ask, “Will this help me or not?” Not that attitude. Just simply do it, and you will begin to see that something unfolds in you. And you will open that door which temporarily got closed because some worldly curtains came and you could not see the sunlight showing you the room where you always used to sit to meditate.

Whether you think your mantra is helping you or not helping you, just keep repeating it.  I said to Swamiji, “I don’t see that anything is changing.” He said, “Don’t worry about whether things change or do not change; just keep doing it.” He said, “Your job is to do your mantra. Your job is not to find out what it is doing.” And many of you have heard Swami Rama lecturing, and repeatedly he used to say, “You do your chore. You do your part, and let me do my part. So, if I’m not there yet, simply keep doing your meditation.” Don’t do any analysis about “Am I making progress?”

Somebody sent me an Email asking, “Panditji, do you think I’m making progress? I’ve been meditating for the last seven years.” If I were to ask that question to Swamiji, he would say, “Just stop.” Actually, this makes me laugh. We were in Taiwan, and I was sitting with Swami Veda. He used to ask me to make chai. I was his chai person. We were both having chai at night, and I was reading an Email from his computer where a person wrote: “I am so happy because my kundalini is rising, and I’m seeing beautiful colored lights.” So I said to him, “Swamiji, I have been meditating for many years, and I have not seen anything. When I close my eyes, all I see is darkness” – because when I close my eyes, there’s nothing else.  Do you know what his answer was – a very classic answer? He said, “Hari Shankar, I have not seen anything either.” So, that very simple answer has many, many, many wordings. Swamiji said later the next day, “Our path is a nirguna path. We are not to seek any phenomena or any lights, or heat in the spine, or movement in our body. That is not the Himalayan Tradition. The Himalayan Tradition is a tradition of stillness, stability – which is shown in our daily performance of actions. And that is the teaching of the Himalayan Masters. They see how politely, how kindly, how thoughtfully we are talking to or relating to others in the world. “How stable am I when I sit? How still am I?” These are observations you can write down over time in your meditation journal: “I used to be able to only sit still for ten minutes, and now I can sit still for twenty minutes, and I am so much happier. I have a sense of joy when I sit.” So reflect on yourself.

Swami Veda used to tell me, “You do not need anyone, because you have YOU.” Why do you need anybody? Just go to yourself. How do I go to myself? I close my eyes and start reciting my mantra – absolutely simple. Just as long as you don’t think of anything. Don’t think, “Is my mantra doing anything?” Don’t think, “Am I doing it right?” – all kinds of questions that we have in our minds.  Have no questions.

Do you know Swami Veda’s book called Blessings? Out of all the hundreds of blessings, one blessing is my favorite, and also his favorite. And do you know what that blessing is? He used to give that blessing to many people, and especially those who were close to him. And the blessing is: “May you never find answers to your questions.” People get mad: “What do you mean by that? I am here to find answers.” We’re always trying to find answers. But, you know, the more we think we have answers and understand, the less we understand. We are not here to understand. We are here to experience. Understanding, my friend, is for the intellectual mind. Sadhana is not part of intellectual mind.

Sadhana is when you get connected with heart. Put your heart there. Swami Veda’s words are: “Fall in love with your practice. Get closer.” There are no rules. There is no manual in the world about how to fall in love. The easiest way to fall in love is to get connected. See your mantra every day. Go and see – like going to see your loved one. If you say, “Oh, I’m in love,” then you are always thinking about or, writing things to your loved one, or about being in love. You fall in love with your mantra. Whenever you have a chance, do your mantra.

We are to experience – because our understanding will change every single day. And it should change, and that’s fine. There is nothing wrong with that. But the actual under-standing, that which would move us further into realization, is practice – falling in love with your practice.

There was a woman in Honesdale who asked Pandit Rajmani to prescribe a special practice for her. So he said, “Lie down.” And Pandit Rajmani gave her a particular mantra and explained the rules and regulations related to it. And at the end, she asked, “How long do I do this practice?” And he said, “As long as you enjoy it.” She was so shocked, and her eyes got wide open. And she said, “Do you mean that I need to enjoy?” And that is what most of us miss. We think that a practice is a practice, and you are to do your practice. We do not see that enjoyment is a part of the practice. And we repeatedly read in Yoga-sutras I.14:

Sa tu dirgha-kāla-nairantarya-satkārāsevito dṛḍha-bhūmih.

Satkāra is to enjoy doing your practice. If you read Swami Veda’s booklet titled “The Daily Schedule of a Sadhaka,” he says that one of the signs which indicates that a sadhaka is improving and making progress is that s/he looks forward to sitting and doing the mantra: “Oh! When can I do my mantra?” Even if there are only two minutes available, you just start doing your mantra. That is what falling in love means. That is what enjoyment means: “Oh! I enjoy sitting!”

And, you know, we want to do more and more of what we enjoy! Everybody has their hobbies. “I really enjoy my hobby.” People say that. And we do enjoy all these other activities. But we never say, “I enjoy sitting every morning!” We say, “Oh, and then I have get up go to work, and I try to sit, but sometime I don’t get time.” Or people say, “Well, sometimes on weekends I have time, but I want to sleep in.” People never say, “I enjoy sitting and doing my practice!” People say, “I enjoy shopping for clothes.” “I enjoy this restaurant.” “I enjoy playing basketball.” “I enjoy long drives in the country.” But seldom do we hear: “I enjoy my practice.” If the day comes when you can begin to actually do that, and can say that, then you know you are progressing and deepening your practice. “Deepening your practice” means that you are more and more aware of your practice. Even though you are not sitting, you may be out driving, but you are aware of your mantra; you are aware of the practice.

Swami Veda and Swami Rama of the Himalayas used to say, “Thinking about your meditation is far better than actually sitting for meditation.” Do you know why? Because when we sit for meditation, the chances are that your mind is wandering. But when you think about your meditation, the chances are that you mind is one-pointed in that thinking of your meditation. Recall the sitting that you did this morning. Recall the practice that you did last night. Just think about it: When you are driving, when you are sitting alone.

There are times when we have a hard time falling asleep, and then we start wondering, “Why? What’s wrong with me?” Useless! And then you start reading a magazine: Useless! The easiest way is to start doing your mantra! You may never find the answer to why you are not falling asleep. But, relax, do the relaxation, do the mantra. There are many, many, many, many tools we have been given. We are so fortunate. Maybe just do the 31-point Relaxation. “Oh! I did the 31-points, but it did not help.” Well, do it again. Do it again. Do it three times, Do it four times. Keep doing it until you fall asleep.

Don’t give up. One time, two times, three times. Maybe do the 61-point Relaxation.

I personally do mantra. Swami Veda also used to do mantra.

One time Swami Veda told me. He said, “You know, people say, ‘I can’t sleep because I’m so stressed out.’ So I purposely tried to create stressful thoughts for myself to see if it would keep me from falling asleep.” And he said that he failed. He said that when he lies down within five minutes, he’s gone into deep sleep. Because his mind has no wrinkles like our minds have. And the wrinkles are all kinds of worries and all kinds of stresses. But mantra will certainly relax it. Mantra will certainly iron out and smooth out all the wrinkles the more and more you do.

Think how fortunate you are to be initiated and that we have a mantra. That was Number One. Number Two is that we know something about yoga. We know how to meditate. We may not be able yet to experience the highest, we may not be there as yet, but it’s okay. We know something about it, so use the tool.

Inspire yourself. Inspire yourself every day. Inspiration is needed. Without inspiration, nothing happens – especially when you are down. Especially when things are not going well in your life; that is the actual time when you need inspiration. Swami Veda used to say that inspiration is like a candle flame which lights inside your heart center. And then you really need to protect that light from worldly winds and blizzards. Don’t let that candle flame be blown out. Don’t let that light be extinguished. And that light is the light of inspiration.

And to me, personally, I enjoy and I feel so proud that “I have my mantra!” What else do I need. Anything and everything can be achieved just be approaching and getting closer to my mantra. Manana triyate iti mantra. All of you know this. If we know this manana triyate iti mantra, we know that “mantra liberates the mind.” So if your mind needs liberation from whatever it is: mantra!

Time liberates also. It is important. Drop by drop by drop, you collect. And then one day you see that your pail is now full. Don’t think that your pail is going to be filled in one day or one week; that never happens. For that you probably have to do a hundred hours of meditation, which is not possible or practical at all. What IS possible, and what IS practical is one tiny drop you put in your pail – and within a short time you will begin to see that your pail is filling up. And you didn’t even realize it; you didn’t even feel that you actually made a huge effort.

A huge effort is not necessary at all, my friends. This is the beauty of the Himalayan Lineage. They don’t tell us that you have to make a huge effort. You only have to make a tiny effort – but that tiny effort you do is with a full heart – that you are so in love with this mantra, that you are so in love with this sitting for meditation. You just sit for two minutes and you are there. “There” means that when you come out, you are so joyful, you are so relaxed, and you are so calm.

If that begins to happen, that means you are deepening your practice. It means that if during of the day your mind is thinking about doing your practice, it means that you are deepening your practice. But, at the same time as we were taught, we have read that, if you, for some reason, get disconnected, if for some reason you are not there, or not feeling the inclination, never condemn yourself; never put yourself down.

I always tell people, and it has become a motto in my life: “I am an important being.” I just read a quote from Swami Rama. He said, “The Lord of Life is within you.” So that means that you are an important being. When you get up every morning, say to yourself that you are not just anybody, but that you are an important being. Why are we important beings? Because we have the Divine within us. We have heard that we are divine beings. We have read that we are divine beings. We have not experienced that yet, but we are on the path of experience. And we should never feel that we are a “nobody.” We are important beings. We have the divine within us. Swamiji Veda used to say that slowly, though we might not experience it yet, tomorrow – if not tomorrow, the day after tomorrow – may you reach there.

So, rather than pondering on this – “How come I am not reaching there? How come I am not there?” – just simply take inspiration every day that  you are an important being and how fortunate it is that you have been initiated and have a mantra. It is very simple. If we think like that, we can remain inspired. We get bogged down in complications which we think is the actual life, but in Swami Rama’s books and his lectures, his advice is that simplicity is needed. So in your practice, keep things as simple as possible.

Sit for meditation every day and let go of thoughts. Whatever happened yesterday, it’s in the past. Take your inspiration for today. And your inspiration is: “I am important because I have a mantra. And because I have a mantra, I have a communication line through which I connect with my Guru at any time that I need to.”  How many people have this communication line?

Mantra and Guru are one and the same. By remembering your mantra, you are remembering you Guru. Thinking of your mantra, you are thinking of your Guru. Actually in the Bhagavad Gita or some scripture – and even Swamiji had told me – “If we think of the Guru, the Guru will think of us.”  It’s vise-versa – both.

It is not a communication like we normally think of; it is a sacred communication. There are no words. The communication is the recitation of one’s own mantra. Keep repeating again and again and again. And the more you repeat, the deeper you will go. And the deeper you go, the more solid and strong your communication will be with the Guru. With the recitation of the mantra and remembrance of the mantra, you open the channel for the Guru’s grace.

If you put in place the things we talked about tonight, you will be inspired, and that is all we need, my friend. Deepening your sadhana is not a very hard thing to do. Compared to the hard things we do in our lives and in home, it is very simple.

So, keep yourself inspired. Keep close to your friends on the path and come to The Meditation Center together frequently. You have a wonderful means with The Meditation Center. Come on Thursday evenings. Take advantage of this sacred site, to recharge and receive inspiration. You don’t have to do anything special when you are here. Just being around like-minded friends will inspire you. You have friends who are you kalyana-mitras, your “spiritual benign friends,” as Swami Veda calls them. Be around them; connect with them often. Just come and sit. And if for some reason you are away from the Center, call a friend and talk with her/him. And keep in your bedroom some inspirational books. Read at least a page or two every day. Or maybe make a resolution to read at least a page of some inspirational writing every day so that your inspiration remains high – high inspiration, high morale. So the inspiration and the tools are there. And the highest tool is your mantra. Okay?

I thank you. I wish everyone well and all the inspiration from the Guru Lineage. May the Guru guide us. And if we do our mantra, Guru will guide. I always tell people. You know Vimala. Once Vimala asked Swamiji Rama: “Swamiji, will you help me?” “Yes,” he said, “I will help you, as long as you meditate.” So that simply means that Swamiji is there and always ready to help if meditate. He is there to communicate if we do our part.   I wish you well. Go home. Sleep with your mantra. Wake with your mantra. Go to work with your mantra. Do your mantra when and wherever you get a chance.

Namaste! Hari Om!

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Editor’s Note:

For more about Pandit Hari Shankar Dabral: http://www.himalayanmeditation.com

A recording of the talk is available here.

Yesterday I fell asleep watching a movie at my computer and knocked over a cup of water. I frantically sopped up the damage. A few hours later, I turned on the computer again and the setup looked strange. I rebooted and it was all back to normal.

The new normal is unsatisfactory. Minneapolis friends are nearly 2 hours away. The closest friend is about a half hour’s drive. I don’t have a car. There are bus lines and service, but these are restricted to schedules and routes which do not go directly everywhere one would want to go when one wants to go. But I live in a beautiful, clean, spacious, secluded apartment on a fifth floor with big windows that let lots of sunshine in. My physical environment is uncluttered and well organized. Now and then, I write a poem. I love the quietude.

But the new normal is not terrific.

So here I am asking myself if this new lifestyle is a good plan. I eat whatever I want and enjoy it (I thought I hated pizza.) And it eats me— so many sweets—much of it freely given—is a delight to the sensate moi, Miss Piggy. But after 2 years of my personal Battle of the Bulge, my new found fun of eating and watching is inching me toward the dieter’s Armageddon.

I do not regret having discovered the British TV series, free online, called Doc Martin. What utter delight! But I sit at the computer lapping up movies, interesting American and BBC TV more than I would normally do. As Swami Veda once said— “Too much is not enough.”

I had thought I would write more, do more yoga and refine the mind, body and breath. So, one day recently I went looking for old handles. “What,” I asked myself, “did my infinitely wise teachers say that helped me to shift gears so many times before?”

Well, for one thing— the easiest and most obvious— sweaty exercise was missing. Then the phone rang. After a wonderful discussion, I said that I had to get ready for a Skype chat in a half hour.

“Have you tried Jane Fonda’s low impact workout”?”  She said. “It’s free on YouTube.”

I said that I hadn’t. I balked.

“Why don’t you try it as soon as we hang up? It’s only 26-minutes long. You still have a half hour before Sonia calls.”

I agreed to try it. I found it easily: “Jane Fonda’s Walking Cardio Workout, Level 1.”

Not half way through —huge smiles! It was invigorating! And it answered a question: What did Swami Rama recommend in your daily routines?

I once heard him say in a lecture to do a minimum of 20 minutes of sweating exercise at least twice a day. Not 20 minutes of exercise. 20 minutes where you are sweating. When I lived at the Himalayan Institute, everyone had a jogging suit and shoes. Everyone jogged up that steep hill. I resisted jogging. But that’s another story.

Eventually, I jogged 5 miles a day and walked briskly another 5. More than once, I found myself literally bending down and kissing the ground. Vigorous exercise was great for moving out the inertia, resetting the metabolism and my whole modus operandi. Brain, bones and lungs thrived with it.

Speaking of my first experiments with jogging in Swami Rama’s day, little by little everything changed— my tastes and inclinations as well as a greater clarity on the day’s goals and my long term aspirations. I found myself with more time and energy for 2 dear, old friends— yoga and writing. So I begin again.

In addition, together with more yoga and meditation, I believe that jogging greatly diminished my sleep needs. Sleep was deep and still. But I would strongly discourage you from suddenly jumping to 3 or 4 hours of sleep. The body needs sleep to repair itself. In short, please don’t force it.

In 2005 or 2006, Swami Veda required residents to go for a daily early morning jog. Even before dawn a bunch of us were at the lower gate headed for Ma Ganga every day—until a sleepy rebellion set in.

So this is my first letter back to many old friends from around the world who often come to mind. I can look inside or out my bright window and see one big space that holds us all.

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Editor’s Note:

For more about jogging, please see the chapter “Exercise” in the book A Practical Guide to Holistic Health by Swami Rama.